You might find your marriage relationship gettingbored and less amicable and may go through some good and bad times during the relationship. You and your spouse seem to understand and communicate less and argue more. Although love is still there, neither of youmight not be able to identify and understand each other’s heart. Most couples think that this is the end of their marriage and it will not work anymore. However, like a rocket that is off course when going to the moon and needs many course corrections, both of you are yelling out “….WE HAVE A PROBLEM!” Fennell Powell Counseling can help bring you smoothly back on course to a great relationship. One of the psychologist’s jobs is to help you understand the dynamics of your relationship and learn ways to point you into building a great marriage.
Causes Of Divorce:
Among many reasons for divorce, the topmost is selfishness. Ouch! You mean me?! Could be. Understanding the power of selflessness will enable you achieve greater levels of intimacy that you desire and crave. Your spouse may believe that you don’t love them anymore, lack of trust, needs not being met, lack of care and support, financial issues, etc. can prompt you to run from the intense emotional hurt and pain and seek a divorce. Also, with selfishness, you might think that your spouse doesn’t understand you. Selfishness opens the door to suspicion. Suspicion’s job is deliver doubt into your mind. As suspicion creeps in and with it streams of harmful thoughts that are designed to lead to separation preparing the way for divorce.
Marriage takes work and the marriage relationship is worth fighting for! The rate of divorce in the world is getting higher, because instead of looking for a solution, people too quickly opt for a seemingly easy pain-pill solution of“parting ways” when unable to envision a solution that will work for both you and your spouse in building up your marriage relationship and create amazing intimacy with each other. That’s where you can benefit from the help of a therapist. What does psychotherapist do, we will help identify the relationship that you deeply desire and envision and help you create a road map to get there, even through the minefields of emotionally charged issues.
Dating Your Mate – What You Can do To Prevent Divorce:
Start with quantitative quality time. What does that mean? Read on. Do you remember how your relationship went before marriage, those long walks, endless amount of texting, long calls-who will hang the phone up first?, binge movie watching, jokes to impress him/her, presenting gifts to make your future spouse happy, and much more. Have you noticed any change in that before and after the relationship? Once you tie the knot, you live together, have children, have different chores to do around the home, work long hours in your business or job, kid’s baseball, soccer, ballet, games, shows, recitals, practices, performances, last-minute-night-before-it’s-due late night projects, appointments, and the book you need to read, and much more constantly happens in your life; and sometimes you don’t get the time to cherish those beautiful moments you and your spouse spend together.
Moreover, sometimes you may show what you perceive as love on your spouse but they don’t receive it or can’t process it correctly. So why is that? Dr. Gary Chapman, who is the author of the famous book, The 5 Love Languages, revealed five different ways to express love. Each one of us has a different love language, utilize different words, or his/her way of expressing love to the spouse.
You may express love by the use of words, e.g., “I love you”, “I appreciate you making food for me”, but you still find your spouse complaining. This may leave you confused. You think and feel that you are doing what you can to make your spouse happy but you get complaints in return, and resulting in you feeling less motivated to express love and affection later on.
On the other hand, your spouse’s love language may be to lend a helping hand. Your spouse may want you to help him/her in doing chores. Hence, you must understand the love language of your spouse and yours as well.
5 different love languages that Dr. Gary Chapman describes are:
1. Words of affirmation
2. Quality time
3. Receiving gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch
Instead of parting ways and losing your interest, invest some time and effort in understanding the love languages that you two use. Try to cherish small moments, take your spouse out for a romantic date, have some intimate time with youspouse, offer gifts, do chores together, and praise using words.
This may seem difficult in the start while you two are encountering issues. Seeking the help of a therapist will make it easy for you to understand the underlying issues, and find ways to solve them better. For this, you can consult a therapist by visiting a psychologist website Fennell Powell, where you will find professionals with expertise in a variety of services. You can book an appointment by just calling on (973) 405-1278 and you will receive the best services. Don’t wait until your marriage reaches the edge of divorce. It’s always better to resolve issues.
Advantages:
Investing in selfless love, quality time, and communication brings in happiness and life satisfaction. Hence, it is worth investing your time and love, and seeking the support of a professional to help understand your problems and prevent divorce; because healthy relationships are a source of intimacy, companionship, love, care, and social support. And you don’t want to miss it!
Success:
The success rate of traditional marriage counseling is about 70-80%. Counseling requires your engagement, and motivation, otherwise, no one can do it for you. Hence, you must look for the signs of relationship issues, understand the reasons behind them, and make necessary efforts to save your marriage.
Results:
Professional help is beneficial when your efforts and energy in saving your marriage are no longer fruitful. At that time, you need a mediator and that’s what a counselor, a third neutral party does, help you and your spouse to identify maladaptive patterns, communication issues, and other aspects that may be hindering both of you from maintaining a healthy relationship. With new helpful strategies that you learned through the sessions, you will benefit your whole life. Therefore, you must not underestimate the advantage of seeking professional help and consult a psychologist as soon as possible. Call Fennell Powell Counseling at (973) 405-1278 or schedule your session online now. (Book Appointment-link)